Hey :) my brother told me about the ruthlesstruth forum and i came across with your blog.
I read some of your posts to know how the process of liberation takes place.
This concept of "There's no self" is easy for me to understand, but only intellectually (i am making my self clear?).
When I look further into this concept during the normal day-to-day activities, putting 'myself' in a state of awareness almost like an observer, i really start to wonder who is controlling this body or where all these thoughts come from? Yet i still find indentification with the self.
Ok, this is 'me' thinking that i need your guidance ;)
I hope you can help me.
Thanks for time, blessings.
Thank you for writing to me. Yes, we can work together to resolve this thing once and for all.
I will be asking you questioned and I need you to answer with whole honesty and only when you had a good look, that means when you get a clear answer that you think is 100% true.
Let's start with examining thought.
Can you control thought? Where do they come from? Can you see that thoughts are labels? Can you make the labeling stop?
Please reply when you ready.
Since your last mail i decided to really look. and i think i got it :)
Please report what you found. :)
What is joao?
What is real?
What is self.
Just answer when you are ready.
ts kind of hard for me to put it on words.
Joao is a character experiencing it self.
Everything is real, this body is real, these thoughts are real, only the idea that there's a 'me' creating all this is an illusion.
Self is a label that points to an assumption that there is really a 'me'. But this 'me' is just a belief given by the society, it's something we can't even question because we never had the oportunity to realise that self is just a thought about this mind, this body, these thoughts.
This is the best i can describe it ^^
You are getting it.
Please rant about it, how you see what's going on on the planet, what do you see when you look at your family, just expand a lot, helps to clarify stuff in a head.
Carry on please.
Nothing really changed, the world is seen by joao now with a totally new perspective. Everything seems possible since there's no self to be affected. Joao feels that everything is right in this very moment, yet thoughts arise in 'my' head that there's something more to achive that this experience is leading 'me' to somewhere. but since that me is just a label, 'I' understand that there's nothing more to do. joao feels something external that is afecting his understanding in some way.
what can i tell about my family? i love them, nothing changed about the way 'i' feel about them. 'i' understand that 'my' parents made the best they could with the knowledge they had to teach 'me' about life.
Please clarify that.
While i was waiting for your email, 'I' runed some tests on joao's mind. 'I' created questions to 'myself' that destroy the possibility of the existence of a self. Then 'I' started to i saw it. I was not controlling anything, was not me that was walking, was not me that was moving my arms. 'I' was just watching, just like in a movie. But I still have doughts, omg :o there is allways a feeling of a me watching everything, but 'i' know that's impossible.
i really can't express myself :s got frustrated
How is it going, joao?
Ya, this feeling of fustration is a distraction to notice the obvious. Fear is trying to protect the idea of the existence of a self, like if i drop this belief i lost the control of everything. Behind fear, life happens, everything happens, without the need of a 'me' to control events.
Fear is just a protection mechanism. There is nothing behind it. Nothing needs to be protected. It's nothing.
Yes, everything is happening without a manager. The fear of loosing control over life is just that- fear. Just a feeling + labelling of the mind. And thoughts come and go by themselves, right?
Check now if there is a watcher here and does life need a watcher at all? Or is it a feeling of watching + labeling.
What do you find?
Yes, thoughts come and go by themselves, there's only the illusion that there is a 'me' with free will. The idea of self, is sustained by a chain of thoughts that always end ups on a 'me'.
No, there's no watcher, watch just happen. Life doesn't need any watcher at all, everything happens for it self.
No, there is no watcher and no need for it either.
Let's see what you notice about free will, choice and decisions. How does it all work?
There's no free will, cause there's no one with a will. There's also no choices and decisions to be taken, everything just happen for it self. The illusion of self, make events of life look like decisions. But there's no one to make decisions!
It sound to me that you are through.
How does it feel? Are you done? Is there any doubt at all?
Do you notice anything different?
What was the last push?
'I' am not really sure if 'I' am done :) Cause actually 'I' was waiting for a major change. But 'I' can see now that it's just the drop an old belief.
There's nothing different actually, everything stays the same, but now everything is seen with a new perspective.
'I' feel way more relaxed and way more present in the moment.
I am not sure about the last push, I think it happened when I recognized fear and frustation as a mechanism of protection.
I just would like to ask you some questions.
Ok, so here it goes.
I know there is no one to make decisions, yet there's a feeling that we do. So how to not decide? ^^ for example, if i have to choose between right and left, how can i not choose to make the best choice for me? i am making my self clear? ^^
You still wants right, so since you're through how do you deal with them?
All decisions happen effortlessly. Brain makes choices.
After decision is made labelling kicks in and mind starts discussing what is right and what it should be. It will gradually fall away.
Once decision is made, hart knows. Then you just need to recognise what feels right and go with it.
It all becomes natural after a while.
The more conditioning falls off the more everything feels effortless. So after the core belief in separation falls, there is a clean up time. It unfolds by itself. It's a ride without rider!
It is not you choosing for you, but life living life.
Did that answer your question?
OH yeah, you did.
I have to really thank you for the time you spend helping me Ilona. Thanks to you this journey looks a lot more fun :)
You are doing a great job liberating all these people.
Thank you joao! Thank you for looking.
My heart fills with appreciation.
I'm happy to assist and if anytime you have a burning question, just write to me.
Here is an interesting video about choice, if you haven't seen it yet..
Much love, my friend :)