Saturday, 13 January 2018

Unfolding Contractions

Last Sunday I held a group Deep Looking event in google hangouts. It was a powerful session where we sat with sensations and invited contractions to come up and gently unfold. Here is something I wanted to share with you after the session:

Sometimes we feel stuck in an uncomfortable feeling and nothing seems to work. Or, it works temporarily until the next treatment, the next attempt to resolve something that keeps coming up again and again. What if I told you there is a hack to that, that is very simple and effective. 

Imagine you fold an origami. It was once a flat paper and now it is a 3D form, it has volume, it's like a container, a new form that holds space in. Contraction is like the origami form, it's folded in and it holds something. What we can do is unfold it and by doing that, it returns to its natural form--which is spacious formlessness.

How does this look in practice?

The contraction/ tension that is felt, is a sensation. That sensation feels like it's intense, unpleasant, unwanted and the repulsion to the sensation is called resistance. (It's actually a protection) Let's rename contraction to protection, there's a lighter feeling already and an invitation to welcome it.

Just look from this angle: Some time ago some hurt happened and there was an unconscious decision to guard yourself from something like that in the future. This is normal human behavior (avoiding the unpleasant and seeking the pleasant). It's like the mind's computer wrote a program that if 'this' happens then it must activate protection. So every time 'this' happens, there is a sensation that arises, the protection is activated and it kicks in automatically and we notice a reaction happening. By focusing on the sensations of protection we have no more access to the sensation that the protection is covering up. We also call this mechanism--fear.

The protection is felt, but what is it about?

Try this exercise:

When feeling protection, ask it- who are you? What are you? What are you protecting?
And just wait. The answer may come up or not. Notice what happens. This way you can look into a feeling of tightness and see what is behind it--what is it that needs or wants protection.

Some other questions you can ask are:

What do you want the most?
What wisdom do you have for me?
Are you helping?
Do you want to relax?

Don't try to fight protections, they are here to help. Only not all old programs are still useful, helpful or necessary. Some programs are very old and no longer needed so they can be seen and let go. When protection comes up, welcome it as it comes up to be reviewed and adjusted. Those that are still needed can stay, but those that are only creating unnecessary tension can drop. It is safe. All it takes is seeing them. By that I mean - really feeling into sensations, giving the sensations 100 percent of your attention, simply allowing them to be fully felt.

This is the unfolding. Forms of protection can dissolve and go back to rest.

Once protection is released, there is a sense of openness, spaciousness, boundlessness, no borders.

You can ask for protections to come up and then watch where they show up in the body and talk to them. Sounds unusual? Try it. Asking direct questions in a friendly way will create an allowing space for those protections to be as they are. This is surrender, letting go, the end of resisting. Try this for yourself.

If you would like to join the next online event on the 4th of February, there are still places available. You can register by email here.

Happy Unfolding!
Much love

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

An Open Letter To The Mind

By itself. 

    Dearest Mind,

    Firstly thank you very much for your presence. You are amazing, intelligent, caring and lovable. Thank you for all your hard work and never ceasing attention to things that matter most. I love you dearly. 

    I appreciate how you make me feel, literally, I can feel feelings that can be quite strong and intense, only by noticing thoughts and images. I can see how you tirelessly go out into the future scenarios making sure that all the problems have ready made solutions. I can see how inventive and creative you are with the images. You can pick any topic and create something out of nothing. I bow in respect to your ability to throw me out of balance and give me sensations that something is wrong, can be wrong, was wrong and will be wrong and so on. I applaud your tireless aiming to control what is about to happen, protecting me from making old mistakes. You are a genius in manipulating how I feel. 

    Thank you for all your work that you have done to protect the heart from being hurt, from being open and vulnerable. Even if the heart was hurt by your limitations, it was still better than feeling those scary feelings, right? Numbing of the heart is a big work and you, dear Mind, have done it so well. You deserve a crown and a throne. Or at least a diamond tiara. 

    Here's the thing. As much as I enjoy your created world and drama, all I really want is peace. I have been watching your mind movies all this time and I see that nothing new is there-- same old patterns, same characters, same problems, same hopelessness. It's no longer needed for me. I am writing to ask you, dearest Mind, to stop creating illusions. 

    Please stop luring me into imaginary conversations with imaginary friends about imaginary scenarios. Please stop giving me solutions to imaginary problems and stories of the past that made me feel hateful, shameful, grieving, small and not enough. Please stop showing me possible futures where I'm stuck in fear. Please just be here and now, and watch, observe, notice, what is actually happening-- right in the moment. You don't even need to comment. You don't need to try to fix anything or protect me from imaginary dangers. 

     I'd like to ask you to drop your unnecessary tasks, impractical patterns, addictions to thinking and image making, daydreaming about a happy tomorrow and the like. And just really relax; be. Be caring, loving, creative, illumined, playful in the now. Be receptive and questioning. Be open to receive wisdom. Stop knowing everything about everything. It's not your job. I'd like to invite you to be silent and aware. This is your job. 

     All I want is peace.
     So, enough of building your sand castles of illusions. Rest deeply. Be at peace. 

     All I want is peace-- so the heart can come alive again and open up without being restricted by what you think.

     It's okay to feel. 

     All I want is peace.

     You can be still and quiet and still hear, see, smell, taste, sense and feel. 

     All I want is peace. 

     Do you hear me, dearest Mind? Can we let the monkey mind go back to the natural habitat with all the drums and whistles? It was fun to have a mind-monkey active, but it's no longer wanted. It can go. I'm sure it won't be missed. 

     All I want is peace. 

     And as you see, peace is here, now, underneath all the noise of words and images. 

     Be still.

     Be quiet. 

     There is nothing in the way of peace once you, beloved Mind, stop producing illusions. It's okay to rest, it is safe. Nothing is going to happen if you stop imagining yourself in charge of the universe. Can you see this, dear Mind, that you can be empty and relaxed, yet everything is still happening? 

     All I want is peace. 

     Can we end the internal war with what is? Can we refocus on what really matters?

     I bow to you and I love you. Let us celebrate life.

     Let's try this, okay? 

With love. 
I now retire.

Saturday, 20 May 2017

Meeting Divine Eye to Eye

Warning! this article is controversial. Some ideas may trigger resistance, frustration, resentment and other intense emotions. In such a case, you get something to work with within. You do not have to agree with my views or choices, and I'm free to live life as it comes.

There is a kind of taboo in the awakening marketplace about using psychedelic substances. If this is something that you are attracted to, by all means, find some and explore. Of course, Shamanic medicines are not for everyone and I'm not here to say what is right for you. It is right for me, as I am a fearless space captain and I am curious about consciousness itself. I don't stick to any traditions but rather test and ride various ways.

I wrote back in September last year, about my journey to Mexico to find magic. I found magic then and received a message that this was only a beginning. The message was strong and I got back to Mexico as soon as my husband and I could do that to see what happens next.

Here we are in a beautiful Caribbean beach village, enjoying life, meeting people, sharing Ajna Light and having lots of treatments. My favorite is Sand-Sea-Sun treatment that discharges, recharges and washes away all tension. The natural technology of release.

Ever since I came to this place, it feels that I have entered some trip. By trip, I mean that there is a sense of surrender and something taking over. If you've never had a psychedelic experience, the word trip means nothing to you. Days change, but the sense of being taken by life and magic remains. The energy is very strong here. I love how the body feels, the heat and how gently the sun is received. It feels that this place is breathing and waving. If I sit on a sofa and body relaxes I can feel the waves of the ocean passing through. There is music in the ears, playing all the time, one wavy melody. It's so audible that sometimes I have to check that the player is off. The player is off, but the music still remains.

There is a sense of grace and wonder, of being led to people and events. We made friends with a couple of healers here and some magic mushrooms arrived; the trip got even trippier. These ones, called San Juan are the most amazing mushrooms I've ever had. I tasted different kinds back in the UK at the time when I could buy them in funky shops. These mushrooms are called Golden Healers and they were named correctly. The trip was very light, fun, and with eyes closed, I could see golden light, patterns and visions. That was the most beautiful, lighthearted healing experience. It felt that golden light was filling the space within. There was an expanded awareness of spaciousness, a beautiful impermanent state, a moment of melting into light. Then back to normal but somehow different, refreshed.

Our friends introduced us to someone that was organizing a Shamanic healing event and we signed up for it. This was another chance for me to taste Bufo medicine, or as locals call it Sapito.
Basically, the smoking secretion of the Bufo Alvarius toad gives a hit of pure 5-meo-dmt which creates an explosion in the system, which only happens twice in life naturally, when you are born and when you die. This natural substance is in all of us, in plants and animals, it even has a name of the God molecule. If you would like to read more about it, please do your own research, there is plenty of material now on the internet.

So here we are, going into the jungle, meeting with Shamans and going for it. We met a nice group of people, some came from far, some tried before, and a few that this was the first time. The group was multi-national, the ones that spoke English turned out to be various artists. Locals were setting up sweat lodges while we were chatting with people. A woman started singing, I noticed the Shaman coming in with his bag of tools. The energy of the place changed. I could notice little nibble of fear showing up, like- -are you sure? This is it.. am I ready?..

The shamans came from a different part of Mexico, they get the medicine from the Sonora desert toads. They did not speak English. The first part was a treatment with tobacco ash that is blown into the nose and clears whatever is stuck there. I watched a friend receive it, it did not look bad so I went for it too. It's called Rapè. (not rape) it feels like a shot of intense sensation, then I felt that the whole body became more alive and vibrating with energy, like something was opened up. A nice sensation after. Colors got brighter and it was easy to breathe. They said it cleans the pineal gland.

The sweat lodge followed next. That was an interesting experience. We sat in a very hot tent in the middle of the hot jungle! There were hot stones in the middle of a circle taken from the fire and the Shaman was pouring water over them, creating steam and more heat. He was putting something on the stones that filled the tent with a delightful smell. His woman was leading songs. The whole tent, 15 people, were sweating out toxins and singing along. It was so much sweating that I could not open my eyes, the salt was making them hurt. It was really hot! But it was part of the preparation for the journey ahead.

After the sweat lodge, the jungle heat was just lovely. Next, we all went to the lake to clean ourselves. The beautiful water felt so refreshing and soft. I could stay there for hours, but we all were called to start the ceremony.

Before I get into describing what it was like for me, I just want to say this: If you are called to do this, take it extremely seriously. This is not a joke. This is not a drug to get high. This is the most powerful medicine, it is very strong and integration after receiving it can take some time and be intense. There are a few testimonials that something went wrong. So the most important is to know what you are up for, research your Shamans and have time and environment to integrate. Best is done in a safe environment with someone that has been working with this medicine for years.

So here it was, a pipe in front of me. There was no thought, no fear, just flowing with the moment. I inhaled slowly, a thick brown smoke. At some point, I got that the pipe looks different as if pixels on a screen have mutated. I remember nodding slightly and falling backwards on the ground.

Whoa, there was a sense of direction, with little disturbances, as if I was going through waves of frequency closer and closer to .... God..... there was melting in, ceasing of turbulence... release so gentle that it felt like last hair that was held on to ripped. Then OMG WOoooooooo incredible sense of gold space of love, peace, divinity, oneness. This was IT, so-called Death, so beautiful and spacious. There was only this. There was totality, absolute, consciousness in fully opened glory. The feeling of golden love, love of God, is indescribable.. mmmmmm wooooooo!

Slowly I was coming back into awareness of the body and surroundings. The body felt like every tension had left, mind came back stunned and silent, taken away by what became known. It took a while to come out and be able to stand up.

Interestingly, I had no sense and no memory of the body or mind at all, but while consciousness was 'traveling', the body was making some movements, kriyas and making sound aaaaaaa..

I came back, looked Shamans in the eye and thanked them both. Now, I KNOW. Now, I KNOW.

The spaciousness came back with me into this realm. I can still feel it days after.

Other people had their unique journeys. One girl was crying so much after seeing the vastness of love and beauty she could never imagine. This was deeply touching. One guy was shouting that we humans can do it! And we have to do it! The change is already happening! (he does not remember that) someone else was throwing up and clearing what seemed black stuff to him, out of the system. Others laughed. Everyone that went for that experience came back changed. So did I. I had only one intention and that was to meet the creation. I got what I came for. I saw what I could never imagine.

I remember thinking why something as beautiful as this is feared, why death is perceived with grief? It's strange, at least.

One way I can describe it is that if you are living in a deep ocean, and time to time get to experience the sun in the water and you don't have a clue about the sun above the ocean. Then one day you go up and take a look... then when you get back you perceive the sun in the water differently. The sun in the water would be love that we are able to feel.

It took a few days to get back to normal. Three days rolled into one. We took more magic mushrooms to assist the energies and to finish healing. The expansion ripped through all the cells of being, the spacious feeling was still here. Even in sleep, it no longer feels dark, deep sleep feels like golden light. Mmmm

God is.

Total Peace, Love is.

Knowing this experientially is IT.

I would not call this enlightenment. It's more an experience of illumination. It came as it was called for. It can come in any package. All one needs is a pure intention to meet God. Toad medicine was a one-way ticket for me to meet the divine, eye to eye. It does not mean you need it. It only means this was the way that the experience showed up for me. If there is judgement about this, then you are missing the point, that a wrapper is more more important that the candy.

We meet divine in every moment, no need for toads or mushrooms to participate. The depth of conscious recognition is what determines our sense of connectedness with the whole and perception of reality. We have a personal, intimate relationship with what is, we are what is expressing as us, as all life. I am that which is expressing as me.

The mind can not get it because mind too is a form, an expression of existence as the mind.

When everything calms down to stillness there is an opening to being. When all vibrations and turbulence cease there is pure light and lightness. Delightful.

Love divine is nothing to do with a person, it's what is left where there is no more I, me, no other. Just a field of infinite peace.

A few days after, I still feel the spaciousness that was not here before, it feels like old patterns collapsed, like a huge clearing happened, that affected all areas of my life as an individual. There is wonder and curiosity of what happens next and an openness to whatever comes. 


Friday, 5 May 2017

An Experience of Dramatic Awakening

I'm sharing a guest article written by a beautiful being Selima Gurtler. Her personal account of earth shaking awakening may touch your hearts and perhaps heal and inspire. 

An Experience of Dramatic Awakening

The time has come. In December 2016 I turned 60. How I managed this extraordinary feat is completely bewildering to me after the trials and tribulations of a dramatic life starting with my Eurasian birth in 1956 into a viciously racist London, the capital of an empire which had recently lost India. My father was from Bengal, India (1922) and my mother (1931) is from London, English and French. My unusual childhood, filled with overflowing and unconditional love, was however disturbed by the deep underlying cross-cultural challenges of my parents’ marriage over 60 years ago, at a time when racial prejudice really prevailed; something which nobody on the street today can or would understand.

It has become clear to me that as I reach this respectable age, I have to tell a story. This is difficult for me because I am old-school and don’t particularly like discussing my private affairs, but healers, close friends, acquaintances and the casual man in the street who have graciously listened to me over the long years, have recently urged me earnestly to speak about my life as a modern source of inspiration. I hope I am able to be of value in this way. 

In my early years, I became a loner because I aware something was different; deeply loved, acknowledged and praised, but not always understood because I disliked the banal and could see beyond the obvious. I was querulous: God, why me? and whoam I anyway? I carried a profound sense of family responsibility as the eldest child of a Muslim father – a responsibility well beyond my young years and something which I have found difficult to lose even today, but it taught me crucial survival tactics as the girl moved into woman with an unusual skin shade for those early times. It was extremely rare to be coffee-coloured in the years between 1950s-1980s in London. We were ostracized as a family in the early years.

As a little girl before puberty, I would sense the Great Energy approaching me into which I would dissolve as It embraced me to become the solitary Seeing Eye, observing my kingdom, the world, and realising it was all Me. The Love. The last time I experienced this dissolution into Oneness (which I had not experienced since a child), was around 1978/79 when I was about 22. I was standing at my desk at the American Investment Financial House, Chemical Bank, at 180, The Strand, London WC2, after having returned from lunch in Covent Garden. My business jacket was slung over my right shoulder and sunlight was pouring in through the window onto my desk. Love had not forgotten me in my 3rd decade! and with such familiarity, It approached again to embrace and envelop me as I disappeared into the Field, observing the department of computer banking specialists become me and the surreal realisation of supposed reality. My boss strolled by along the expensive carpeted corridor and exclaimed, “You DO look well, Selima!” I remember the response that emanated from the silence that I had become, “I FEEL well!” Oh! the absurd Divine Comedy!

It was around this time in my life while in deep contemplation one night, that I found and entered the Kingdom of God. But my profound explorations were cut short and not to be revisited for decades because my life changed beyond recognition when I was 23.

In 1980, I met a man who was to teach me my greatest life lessons, and for whom I am eternally grateful to God for appearing to me in this wonderful male form. My international life with him lasted 15 years and took 7 years more to finalise, all during which I fought for my human life, identity and spiritual essence and then for the safe upbringing of our child. In the 20 years after I left, walking out with nothing but my books, child and passport, I remained celibate as a solitary parent with the sole purpose of raising our child of God with the same love that had been shown to me by my parents, and by circumventing the norm and dodging the obvious. (I just add, for humour here, that it was with some alarm that I suddenly realised we had reached the end of the century in 1999, and regarded my celibacy as embarrassing. I was able to add a couple more to one hand within the space of 4 weeks, and the matter was resolved. Year 2K looked promising.)

Mother and child moved house 14 times in 19 years. My personal total is over 35 house moves since 1976, many international, some for less than a year, not counting the hotels and stop-overs in between. I am told I became impenetrable with a steel girder around the two of us for 15 years, a deep moat around the periphery with a guillotine for a portcullis.

I am sure all single parents are so, however, particularly those without any meaningful or compassionate practical support. I also make a difference between single and solitary parents and it’s obvious why. I had to return from Europe back to the UK in 1996, where I had no credit line, with little work history since I had left in 1983, and where London culture had completely changed.

Throughout all my life, I have taken counsel from my silent witness through which I penetrated when I finally entered the Kingdom. This is the silence which pervades from the watchtower within (known as the witness or observer in eastern traditions), and had always guided my direction and behaviour in life. More correctly, my reference to the witness was my light in dark avenues, and in 2000, in order to maintain my individual self and my sanity, and to create great beauty out of the anguish and desperation while raising my child, the idea of EmW Peace started to blossom.

Through the dramatic fight for my identity – fragile, of course, as it had been as a young girl – and wellbeing of my child, I had lost my connection to my inner beauty, realm of love and belief in myself, but I kept moving forwards. As I coped with my child’s teenage depression, our loneliness and financial insecurity without his father or any family support of note, I plunged into creating the greatest beauty I knew.

There were times when I did not leave the house for a year apart from grocery shopping because I could not find a baby-sitter, and during the days of the teenage depression, I sat in twilight in the house for 5 years because my son could not stand any sunlight to shine in. He hated his school life and was a solemn, unreadable child because of all the house/school moves and general lack of direction in his life. I moved house each time he changed schools so he would not have to travel the 100 miles a day that I undertaken as a schoolgirl in the 1970s. I had to keep the momentum of our life moving and hold him in the cradle of my being to see him into adulthood.

In attempting to keep my sanity, I thought that, perhaps, now had arrived the time to express in words what I knew through the beauty of east and west; through my spiritual longing to return to that innocence of my childhood where I had understood and ‘seen’ it ALL. Was it not surely now or never?

During the years of my relationship, I had learnt all the prevailing healing systems in the 1980s and 1990s, looked at New Age teachings, obtained an honours degree in Art History & Philosophy, and searched everywhere through the spiritual literature of east and west to find that which I had ‘seen’ in the 1950s and 1960s. It remained elusive as I filled myself with vast, unending libraries of mystical and rational knowledge.

In great, traumatic never-ending emotional pain, often there is a profound desire to project great beauty in forms of art – via the visual, musical or written – as the wounded healer who produces a holy solace or sacred balm to ease a breaking heart. Broken, because my responsibilities and loss of myself through my relationship left me for years as the fragile shell of a mother, daughter, sister, lover and vibrant woman that I had been, notwithstanding the physical toll of innumerable house relocations on my body. I don’t think I slept for over 20 years because I had a supremely heightened awareness for danger. Solitary parents become a Cyclops, with one eye always open in case of emergency, particularly at night. I was so wired that for ten years electric sparks used to fly if I touched metal.

As the years went by, I took knock after knock as a floating cork smacked against a wild, merciless ocean clutching my child with the only thing I had – my life. I could not even find an Executor for my Will who would act on behalf of my son without payment if I had died. I remember asking the parents of one of his few school friends if they would look after him if anything happened to me, and they did not reply to my request. I asked my physiotherapist if I could give his name, he asked me to book an appointment and billed me. I used to pray my son would reach 18 without anything happening to me.

I will not discuss here in too much detail the last 10 years from the time I turned 50 to today. I can do that another time, and it is just another story, but it further lays the brickwork for what came later. I could not find what I was seeking; that which I had seen up to the age of 22. That was the excruciating, appalling twist. I had incarnated with true spiritual understanding, and through the love of my parents. This I recognised immediately when I read eastern spiritual books, but knowledge is not the same as experience, and mind is the greatest deceptive instrument of man, and I could not re-find It. Were was It, and where was I?

There was a difficulty too. With my early vision for EmW, something profound had started to happen. I could not find the energy to talk about something that I could no longer feel. I couldn’t find the mental creative mechanism to discuss the intricacies of the similarity between the world’s religions and how we can bring the common threads into society for the good of all. I was weary and tired. Global societies had moved on with people from all walks of life, colour and creeds marrying inter-culturally and happily without a second thought. Perhaps I was of no use with my vision for EmW Peace and Understanding; should I let it go, as I had with most aspects of myself and my life? What did I have to offer? Another spiritual teacher saying – what, exactly? I had nothing really to offer anybody anymore.

My life continued to implode as my now adult son left university early to return home. I took the mantle of responsibility for my mother’s descent into dementia and assisted a family member through a highly acrimonious divorce during which he was accused of unspeakable acts against his children. He spent much time with me during this phase.

I found myself trapped in a life of living hell, trying to find a way out into beauty but finding none within or without. I had lost all sense of myself since 1987, and in 2012 I was finally brought to my knees when my mother, who could still communicate through her dementia, telephoned me to say her care person had walked out without notice demanding money.

I raced around in a taxi to find my mother sobbing, standing in a raincoat, with her underwear in a plastic bag waiting for me. I took her home with me, and remember my heart pounding ominously – deep, powerful thuds the sensation of which I had never known before. My ears filled up as if I were beginning a descent in a plane; later there was dizziness, swaying, and a complete loss of sense of body or position in space, and my mind was gone.

I was due to leave the country for Italy in 3 weeks with son and dog, and we were vacating our home.

I went to see my gynecologist, a man I had known for 20 years, and explained that I had no sense of body, and that my energy was escaping through my crown. I didn’t dare say my mind was gone because physically, I looked and was, in great shape, and it was not obvious what was happening to me. He was so alarmed he told me to see a psychiatrist and not to leave the country. My life had entirely imploded and the self I had been seeking since 1987 was gone. I was no more.

In the last 4 years, nothing of that original woman has returned. I had to dramatically reduce the activity of my life because I had no energy and something profound had happened to me. Something intangible had left. There was no barrier between my body and the outer ether of the world and I had a barely functional mind – all I had left was love, sometimes overwhelming, other times just settled. For 4 years, I could scarcely look after the house, finances or eat, and spent days and weeks lying flat with exhaustion, barely alive. Whatever was happening took every ounce of stamina that I possessed, but it was the dramatic body/mind process that was draining me; the paradox was that although my functioning mind had all but closed down, the creative free inspirational aspect was unaffected. I wrote a book and researched according to whim through this cataclysmic shock to the body/mind continuum.

The emptiness in my head which started as increasingly worsening dizziness in 2012 became predominant, and slowly I realised there was nothing I could do. Life had to continue and I still had my responsibilities, so I altered my life to the minimum to sit it out. Through my terror, I knew I was dying, and dying to everything I knew.

After five years, now in 2017, after listening to teachers for 4 years online and in person, I realised that great veil of illusion, Maya, had started to drop sometime around the final 2012 crisis as I surrendered to my life. The witness had merged with the One – that is why it had disappeared, and why I have (there is) only seeing, perceiving, etc., and no reference point or centre.

The complete and alarming emptiness of the body and its vacuous expression left me left with the natural non-state, and my brain within the body/mind is still rewiring. This magnificent organ is totally unrecognisable from the previous 55 years. I am able to halt the mind at will and sit quietly in no-man’s-land, holding it at bay for hours on end; this is NOT the same thing as sinking below or behind the diaphragm of the mind into the vastness of being, and exploring being with being. This is the great understanding that is reached. Controlling the mind is static, consciousness exploring itself is the never-ending cosmic dance.

Today, it feels as if both hemispheres are one (there appears to be a forward point above my eyes), and my body signals speak a language I no longer understand. If I look at photographs of myself from the past, it is just a woman – although I remember perfectly what and when, I cannot hold the energy of her in the photo, and I would collapse gasping for breath if I had to carry the burden again of her supposed self. But I repeat, this is just description and all I have is this moment – alive, present, unique and forever and bodily sensation.

May I conclude my loving welcome to you with the following: I have partied and lived an extraordinary life with wonderful, exciting people in the world, but I have also spent much of my life in contemplative solitude working quietly to understand the motor of my being, and certainly before the Internet and cell phones.All this is just a story, including the tale of my early life as a little girl with two spiritual energy systems a decade after WWII and Indian Independence; but it still seems that I could offer something from this perspective simply because I have been Eurasian for so long, and that I came through a dramatic realisation to answer the ultimate question, “Who am I?”

I offer myself to EmW and its Peace Perspective as a woman who went through it all to find her paradise lost, but actually realised paradise is here. My mistake, in ignorance, was to fight my way through, instead of accepting what was in front of me during the lengthy, gruelling decades of unrelenting challenge; well, that was the way it happened; it was all I knew, and, I was a mother desperate to stay alive for her child. At some point, the mind exhausts itself of get-out-clauses and mental survival techniques, and that is when the journey home commences. I was caught in the end and macerated, pounded repeatedly, and mercilessly annihilated,without any explanation or understanding into unwanted dust.

This piece of writing will form part of a free book I shall write for the spiritual community to put on record this instance of dramatic realisation. It will be thorough and precise and address the questions that I asked myself, and the abject fear/terror/disorientation and surrender that was prevalent throughout the experience.

There is little reference in the canon of spiritual literature to this kind of awakening, I understand, although Meister Eckhart refers to it in the Christian tradition. In Zen Buddhism, it is known as the Great Death, neither of which I had any knowledge about. Hence, the pervading great terror and trauma associated with it when the body/mind is completely unprepared. I am grateful to Adyashanti for his once remark about the works of Suzanne Segal and Bernadette Roberts from 30 years ago who described exactly the same as I. Through those pieces of literature I was able to come to terms with living through the death of the illusory self.

I am also grateful to the Zen Master in Japan and the long term student of Jean Klein who gave me their gracious attention and advice, offering me their presence. Both urged me to take care. I do.

If my love and understanding can inspire, lift up and soothe anybody who is drawn to EmW, I truly stand here quietly awaiting your gentle command…

Only love, 

His Holiness the Dalai Lama
His Grace Archbishop Desmond Tutu

I am indebted to these two eminent peace icons for supporting my early vision.

Words fail.

Copyright Selima Gurtler 2017. All rights reserved. PLEASE DISTRIBUTE FREELY but kindly make any links to

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

The Attunement Process, by Roger Calverley

This article is written by Roger Calverley, I found it inspiring and so I am sharing it with you. I met Roger in Mexico and he experienced the Ajna Light and PEMF mat. He loved the experience and immediately saw the benefits and potential of using such technology. Roger has got these tools for himself with the intent to use and share it too. Here are his thoughts about how this technology can be helpful on personal attunement journey.


The Attunement Process is a way of rapidly shifting into optimal health and expanded awareness. It uses bio-electrical energy fields which balance all parts of the etheric body, resulting in optimal health at the level of the physical body. This re-sets the acid-alkaline balance, eliminates inflammation, rejuvenates the cells, eliminates stress, heals injuries and induces a general sense of relaxed wellbeing. A second aspect of the Attunement Process is light. Specially programmed frequencies of light are directed to the region of the forehead where the brow chakra receives and transmits them to the neural network. This has the effect of shifting awareness into an expanded state of alignment to Source. The immediate effect is entry into an experience of heightened consciousness. Long-term results include the elimination of limiting beliefs, integral balancing of the physical, etheric, astral and mental bodies, balancing of all the chakras and alignment of various parts of the being with causal body and the core life program. A third modality is the use of sound through earphones. Isochronic tones entrain the mind to enter the delta and theta brainwave states which correspond to meditation or contemplation. A facilitator is present to answer questions, discuss the resulting experiences and set the optimal energies for each individual as required.


There are certain terms which have accumulated a lot of baggage, and the word “truth” is one such. For the purpose at hand, we are going to use the word this way: “truth is that which opens the heart”.

We all have a heart of human emotions and feelings which encompasses our likes, aversions and sensitivities. But we also have a deeper level of the heart which recognizes and alerts us to what is true. This non-physical energy-center which recognizes and opens up to what is true is often called the “spiritual heart”. It is the seat of awareness in the center of the chest which has a special connection to unconditional love, compassion, bliss and the sense of oneness beyond separation. We will be using the term “heart” in this sense rather than the physical muscle which pumps blood.

Anything that connects you to more truth opens the spiritual heart. In any experience that is bringing you more truth, there will be a sense of opening rather than contraction, softening rather than hardening, a feeling of “yes” rather than “no”, and an impression of expansion rather than contraction.

Although the spiritual heart is experienced energetically at the center of the chest, it is actually something that transcends the physical limits of the body. The spiritual heart is active and the etheric, astral, mental levels and beyond. It is our most direct link to Source.

When you experience something that is true, your sense of self lets go, opens up, relaxes, becomes receptive, and permits you to identify more fully with your experience. Because the boundaries of your egoic mind ten to loosen and dissolve when the heart opens, any sense of insecurity, deficiency or limitation decreases, and conversely the sense of relatedness or intimacy grows.

When you are in touch with more of the truth, the mind tends to become quiet. Thinking activity gears down. A deep and universal truth brings you to an even more profound condition of stillness, at times tinged with reverence or mystical longing to be re-united with Source.

Conversely, when you find yourself face to face with something that does not feel right, the heart contracts and the sense of self tightens. At such times, the heart seems to harden and there can even be a feeling of alienation. There can also be feelings of insecurity, unease, diminished self-esteem or fear.

When the energy of the spiritual heart contracts, the mind experiences the presence of a problem, or dilemma and it gets busy trying to think of a way out of the situation. At this point, the agitation of the mind constricts life energy still further and adds to the stress. Sometimes, this reactive thinking becomes compulsive and habitual, and in such cases it can even lead to health problems.

As a guide to what is true for you in the present moment, your own heart is unparalleled. It is a flawless source of guidance in the matter of what is true or good for you at any given moment. If you take a little time to observe the opening up and the closing down of the heart in reaction to various situations, you can easily see that you are fully equipped to recognize what is true for you all the time. Moreover, this inner guidance is not something you have to acquire from elsewhere or learn by studying books or attending lectures. It is your birthright.

The heart is continuously adapting as it reflects every thought, feeling, wish and incident that arises in your awareness. The degree of openness or contraction which the heart manifests at any moment is an exact measure of how true an experience or thought is for you. Where there is more of what feels true for you, you will feel it. Learning to recognize and follow your intuitive feelings is the path to Wisdom.

There is no right or wrong way for the heart to respond as it shows you the relative truth of any given moment. However, for many who have been educated into a primarily intellectual point of view, recognizing the language of the heart may take a bit of unlearning. What is “good” or “bad” or “right” or “wrong” in any situation depends on many factors and cannot be known in advance by some handy rule of thumb. If your mind has all the questions, your heart has all the answers, because it is a sure barometer of what is true for you at any given moment.

The crux of the matter is this: the degree of our heart’s openness which shows us how much truth is present in our lives. This is why opening up is so important. In the light of what is felt to be true or good, the heart opens up like a lotus and spreads its petals wide to receive the sunlight of truth.

Why, then, do people fail so consistently to follow the heart’s guidance?

In large measure, this seems to happen because people think that listening to the heart is inappropriate or disapproved by their peers or superiors. Someone else’s voice is louder, in the minds of many or most people than the surety of their heart’s guidance. People who live in this state of dissociation may feel that principles of moral rectitude are an adequate guide, or it may be the opinions of friends, or family, or the boss or the preacher or the guru. However, when we replace the heart’s guidance with opinions from the outer world, there can be only one result: spiritual confusion.

Paradigms have been planted in our minds since we were young with striking results for our whole society. We value knowledge over wisdom; we prefer earning money over living from a perspective of abundance, and we believe that only hard work can legitimize leisurely recreation. We have been fed stories which underscore the idea that it’s necessary to suffer and struggle before we could ever be worthy of success and happiness. In many cases, we exaggerate the importance of sheer good luck, and we are inclined to put up with things that make us unhappy until we have no other choice but to change.

In order to discover your heart’s sure guidance, you have to decide that you really and truly want to align with your heart’s discernment. This is the first step toward ultimate and full alignment with Source. And although the point is simple to state, very few people ever take the step of deciding that this will be the case, for we have been educated to place head before heart. This leaves us open to manipulation from all sides, a situation which suits the powers that be very well indeed.

Our heart’s guidance comes from the deepest and truest part of our being, something so profound that it can never be corrupted or led astray. True satisfaction in life, as well as abundance, love, and peace arise from listening to our heart and following its indications.

This brings many blessings, for when we say “yes” to our heart, we also open our lives to its qualities of creativity, courage, harmony, wisdom, mystical attunement and unconditional love.

There are many reasons to find and follow our spiritual heart’s guidance, however the most significant of them is this: there is no other way to be who we truly are. Unless and until we accept our heart’s guidance there will be greater or lesser confusion and incomplete alignment to Source. But from the moment we formulate a new agreement to honor the guidance that we receive from within, everything begins to change.

A New Agreement

Life is full of possibilities. The call and the challenge is to actualize your full potential and realize the ultimate fullness of what your life can be when lived in alignment with Source.

Up to now, your experience of life has been based on a set of agreements you worked out with those who came before you. You have been bound to a set of thoughts and definitions and prescriptions in which you had no say at all. The way you understand yourself and your life has in many ways been decided by others in ways you do not clearly recognize.

By the time we graduate from school, our identity has been bound up in our stories and experiences and conclusions regarding what life is all about. We mistakenly think that we are identical to our story about the things that made us the way we are. We have come to believe in a set of shared agreements about what things should mean and be with identities constructed by common understandings, for example, of what it means to be a man or a woman, or a teacher or student and so on.

When paradigms like this are shared by large groups, they are experienced by individuals within the group as real, unchangeable and true. If you invest yourself in such agreements, you will be bound by them, and they are for all intents and purposes immutable. But in fact, no matter how many people buy into them, none of these constructs are real. They are all cooked up by conceptual designations, sustained by belief and spun by collaborative narrative.

What you are is much greater than any of these fabrications. And yet, if you abide within the scope of what you were taught, and what you agreed to, you will live in a state of radical self-limitation.

For among other things you have been taught that you have no right to claim true independence and be fully your own person. You have been taught that the world will no longer support you if you go beyond the agreements you were forced into before you even had a say. Fear was used to keep you conformable to the conventions of society. You have been taught that social isolation is something greatly to be feared, and that conformity at all costs is worth the price.

As they exist, these social conventions hold you in a sense of separation. They re-enforce the idea that you are without access to a higher reality such as the Divine, and that you must submit to the people who are in charge, the leaders who tell you what you can and cannot be.

You will be kept in a state of smallness and conformity until you decide to go beyond the conventions of the human mind in order to see and know who you really are in all your fullness.

The challenge you face is to claim your true identity and assume the freedom to realize your full potential. This means letting go of past programs and coming into alignment with your own divinity. If you wish to stand freely in your own space, it is necessary to let go of this, open up to all you really are, and come home to your inner sources of power and direction.

Your true Self has no limiting notions at all about who you are. It is infinite in awareness, not bound by notions of how things are or must be. Moreover, it cannot be compromised, programmed or limited in any way.

You are an aspect of Source manifested in form. But you have agreed to deny who you really are and live in separation from your True Self.

You have quite a lot invested in keeping up an identity which conforms to the expectations of others. This helps you to fit in, and to suffer less rejection and alienation. On the other hand, when you recognize who you really are, above and beyond the lies and stories you agreed to believe, everything changes.

Here is the really good news: When you formulate and declare a New Agreement with your true Self, the world around you will to conform to your new vision and understanding. It could not be any other way. Why? The outer world is a manifestation of consciousness and you are consciousness. Nothing is real except for the fact that you have made it real for yourself in your own mind by the power of belief.

When you choose to believe in what the intelligence of the heart shows you to be true, an alignment to your real identity develops. This connects you to Source more powerfully and consistently. This in turn summon up a new energetic landscape which grows and widens to conform to your new understanding..

The choice is simple and clear – either to live in denial of who you really are, or to recognize and live your fullness. Either free yourself from the identity which you took on from your culture, family and society or live in conformity to their dictates.

Up to now, it has been your choice and agreement that you would deny your true nature and pretend to be separate, small and conformist. And yet your true Self is ready attract into your life all the experiences and lessons you require to actualize your full potential. You may currently believe that the small self protects and preserves you. But when you trust your connection to Source, you will see that it has much more to give you, much more to show you, and much greater capacity to illumine you about who you are and what is possible. The Divine knows who you are, knows your potential for new learning, inspiration and growth. It will be with you supportively every step of the way.

And so you have a fundamental choice to make. From this choice will come a New Agreement.

In your New Agreement, you declare to yourself that you have the right to know yourself as you are, to decide for yourself what path you will walk, and to choose for yourself what experiences you need in order to learn in your own way and embrace your own truth.

This means that you choose to stand in your own authority, knowing that you innately empowered to make this fundamental choice. In your new agreement, you have the freedom and the power to say “Yes!” to your full potential and live life on your own terms. You thus take a decisive step beyond what you have imagined or actualized so far in your life and you open a portal into a vastly expanded future.

On the basis of your New Agreement, it becomes possible for you to encounter yourself in the fullness of your true worth and to experience the your boundless capacity for love, wisdom and creativity. Moreover, you can call in all that you require for the full manifestation of what you have decided to create.

When you come to declare your New Agreement, you are ready to re-align your mind and your heart so that your heart can be your guide. It will inspire you, teach you and energize you to realize and embody the best that can be.

Here are the four statements that constitute your New Agreement:

I choose to align all aspects of my life to the fullness of my potential.

I choose to let go of all the limitations I have taken on, contrary to the truth of my being.

I choose to open up to Source as I invite it to manifest through my thoughts, words and actions.

I choose to live in accord with my heart’s true guidance, inwardly, outwardly and continuously.

When you repeat these words, you declare that it is your choice to leave behind your investment in the small self and its conformity to all kinds of limitations and falsities, including your beliefs about how and whether you need to conform to the various authority figures who have shaped your life to this point.

This means that you will enter a new phase of experience, and as a consequence life will present itself in a new form. When the words of the new agreement are sincerely declared, a process of change comes into play, bringing new insights and experiences, at first intermittently, then more frequently, and in the end continuously. Your new agreement opens you to these transformational energies and frequencies which will draw you to new insights, realizations and experiences beyond what you have known up to this point in your life.

The Attunement Process is most effective when placed at the service of your New Agreement. It acts as a powerful tool to amplify and intensify the clear intent you have expressed for growth and change.

The Attunement Process

Everything that really matters is found in the spaciousness of your awareness, not in the externals of your life. Although in essence you are made of spacious awareness, it is something more than mere empty space. Everything that really matters in life is to be found in this spacious awareness. Examples include love, wisdom, creativity, peace, clarity, inner harmony, strength, joy and power. These are the life-enhancing energies that spacious awareness has to enrich your existence. Anything that opens you to experience this spaciousness can deepen your experience of life and bring you closer to the fountainhead of your own unlimited potential.

When you allow your awareness to open up and flow more freely, you will experience a special kind of fulfillment. Life naturally becomes richer and deeper as you identify with the spacious awareness that is your essence. In the process of alignment to Source, you relax. In that relaxed state, awareness expands. Then, within that expanded awareness there arises an experience of fulfillment, like the feeling of truly “coming home.”

It is fair to say that any time you have felt something truly meaningful in your life, you have been in contact with this spacious awareness which is your essence and its limitless qualities of wisdom, love and fulfillment.

The point of attunement to Source is to show you your essence so completely that you can rest as that aware space and be who you truly are.

You can learn to rest in the essential space of your pristine nature no matter what is happening around you or how you are feeling. Cognizant, pristine spaciousness is your very nature, your divine nature. You are that. You are divine.

Even when you are frustrated or confused, you are still divine. Everything you experience as outside and around you is made only of what you are in your essence, and so it also is divine. That is all there is. That is what you are. You have always been what you have sought.

What matters is what you really are, not the contents which arise in the space of your awareness.

You can only be what you really are, and nothing else. So there is no dilemma, no crisis, and no problem. You have only to relax and be as you are to discover that this is true. This is the whole point of attunement to Source. It’s that simple.:

In the attunement process, several supportive factors are brought into play

The subject relaxes on a mat which generates healing fields of bio-electric energy. A light shines on the forehead where the “third eye” is located. This light is configured into various mandalas in a range of specially selected colours. The light acts as a reminder for you to let go, open up and come home to the truth of your being. You do not have to do anything. You just relax, let go and come home to an experience of oneness with Source.

Helpful Questions

At certain points, it may help to invite your mind to enter more fully into the experience of letting go, opening up and coming home. For this purpose, a series of questions has been developed. A facilitator may ask the questions or you may have them pre-recorded. Listen to the questions one at a time and hold each question in your awareness as you sink more deeply into peace and relaxation.

You do not need to be concerned about finding an answer or remembering any of the thoughts provoked by the questions, for they are meant more to show you who you really are than to provoke some form of verbal response.

These questions will help you to experience your essential nature more deeply and completely. There is no right or wrong answer. You cannot go wrong because wherever you start and wherever you end up is always what you really are: spacious awareness.

Can it be that you are not really your body? Not really your personality? Not really your mind?
Is it possible that these are experiences you have, but not what constitute your real nature?
Is it possible that you are space, conscious, open and allowing space in which the mind and body arise and appear?
Could it be possible that this space of awareness is what perceives and understand these words?
Is it possible that this space, your real nature, is limitless?
If the truth of your being is boundless, what does that mean?
Would this mean that there is infinite consciousness available to you at every moment?
Would you need to be so very careful about what you experience in life?
Is it really necessary to avoid some kinds of experiences and attach to others?
Or could you simply allow every experience that arises in this spaciousness to have some of the infinite space that you are?
What if this infinite space is one, not many, and you are it, and everyone and everything is also only it?
What if you already embody everything you could ever desire or wish to own or experience?
What if you already are everything you desire to grow into and become?
What if this spaciousness is alive? What if it is the aliveness you feel right now?
What if this spaciousness is full of love, tranquility, bliss and clarity?
What if this spaciousness is rich and full and fulfilling in ways that worldly experiences have never been?
What if this spacious fullness is who you really are?
Can you feel that it is here in each breath, and in the stillness between breaths?
Can you feel that it is flowing as the mind and its thoughts and its rest?
Can you feel that spacious awareness is here and therefore all is well, all is always well, and there is no need for any kind of doing to make anything well because all things are always well in that space of pure being?
Can you feel that there is no need to search?
Can you see that spacious awareness alone is real, and you are that?
Can you feel it? Can you feel that it is here, now, always, never to be lost or found?
Can you rest in the experience of being only and always that?

Attunement To Source

Modern technology has made it possible to achieve levels of healing and expanded consciousness to a degree never before thought possible. The essential modality is vibration. Sound, light, colour, number and geometry create various permutations of vibration. Our physical, etheric and astral bodies are essentially tissues of light of differing vibratory rates. When these are in harmony, good health and a sound mind result. But sometimes disharmony may arise. In the process of attunement, light speaks to light and brings in a reminder of the fundamental harmony that is the basis of sound health and awakened awareness. The body accepts this message through the neural network and adjust accordingly.

During an attunement session, the subject rests on a mat which generates bio-magnetic fields at various frequencies which are set to balance and align every aspect of the etheric and physical bodies. Earphones bring in audio-tones that support the process of deep relaxation into theta or delta mind-wave states characteristic of profound contemplation. The geometries of light and colour which play on the forehead (where the brow chakra is located) have been designed to make it easy to enter a non-dual state of awareness and rest in a state of expanded and deepened awareness.

A facilitator may or may not be present with helpful questions as part of the experience, either before, during or after the attunement. This is optional, but not necessary.

It can be helpful to spend some quiet time after the session is over, and to dialogue about the experience. There may also be times when it feels best to follow through in silence and forgo discussion.

The language of light communicates priordially to the human psyche. Colour, number, geometry and mandala all speak to the ancient light codes in our human DNA, reminding us of who and what we really are beyond the beliefs, stories, and notions we have fantasized in our minds.

This is not only enlightening in a spiritual sense but deeply healing at many levels.

Attunement to Source is an integral alignment of all parts of the being to their original harmony and wholeness.